When nature calls, everyone obeys. Sometimes the need to use a restroom cannot be delayed till you escape the 9-to-5 working period. Sadly, there’s no knowing when you might have to address this private business.
Going number two in a public restroom brings a lot of worries and awkwardness. Why? What if you made a stank in your workplace’s lavatory or had a loud bowel movement? How you do your business shouldn’t be of concern to anyone.
However, that gaze co-workers give once you are done places you in an awkward spot.
Luckily, we’ve collated tips and tricks on how to poop quietly at work to help steer clear of tricky poop situations.
How To Poop Quietly At Work: Step By Step Guide!
These toilet etiquettes are not limited to relieving yourself in your office lavatory. You could use them anywhere you intend to keep your business quiet or avoid any unnecessary awkward poop situations.
Timing
Most issues associated with pooping at work can be avoided by going number two at the right time. If this is not your first day at work, you should know when the lavatories are likely busy.
Usually, nature calls slowly, which means you should have enough time to wait for the best time to excuse yourself. Yet, people often waste that time worrying and eventually storm out of the office at the dying minute to do their business.
More so, it’s essential to visit the restroom when everyone is focused and distracted by the task at hand. Otherwise, you can just hold on till lunch. The aim is to use the bathroom when everyone’s awareness is knocked down by other stuff.
Lock the Doors
Bathrooms have several doors, and they can help keep your bowel movement noise away from your co-workers. So, if you are trying to stay quiet while you empty your bowel, close all doors between you and your fellow employees to help muffle the noise.
Make a Noise
This is one trick that saves the day anytime, anywhere. It would help if you acted like a master illusionist by feeding others the wrong information. If the lavatory has an exhaust fan, turn it on to help mask your bowel noise. Most of these devices, hand dryers and exhaust fans, installed in bathrooms are noisy. So, why not use it to your advantage? They can serve as a good white noise generator.
That’s not all; you can take advantage of faucets near the sink. Turning the faucet on and off fools others. The last thing they think is going on in there is you emptying your bowel. To conserve water, turn on the faucet when someone walks into the bathroom.
Use the Furthest Stall
Increasing the distance between you and your co-workers reduces their awareness of your business. This way, you can come out without them giving you that awkward stare because you make a loud bowel movement.
Whether someone is already in the restroom or not, try going to the furthest stall. If possible, you can choose to use a bathroom on another floor. I prefer the latter as I can carry out my business mysteriously.
Another way to go about this is to use the bathroom when it’s crowded and busy. This way, no one can know for sure where the loud burrito shooting out noise came from. Once you are done, clean up and leave, don’t get trapped in any conversation in the restroom.
Place a Wad of Toilet Paper into the Toilet Bowl
This is my favorite tip on how to poop quietly at work because it serves two purposes. Putting a wad of toilet paper into the toilet bowl helps avoid any potential splashback and nasty plopping sounds.
For best results, ensure the top part of the wad is dry and not yet wet before you get to business. Also, you might want to cover the toilet seat for a more comfortable pooping experience if you are concerned about the overall cleanliness of the toilet bowl.
Be Snappy
There’s no point waiting to excuse yourself at the right time and employing other tips shared in this post only for your co-workers to come knocking while you are still at it. So, it’s best to get seated quickly and get it over with as soon as possible.
Is there any reason to extend the bathroom time? You don’t want others wondering what’s wrong with you in there. Thus, compelling them to come to check on you.
Also, it’s better to leave your phone or magazines on your office desk to allow you to concentrate on emptying your bowl without making an embarrassing noise. Plus, it will enable you to take advantage of the quiet, lonely time in the bathroom before another person comes rushing in.
Poop Quietly at Work – Related FAQs
According to scientific studies, there are two recommended ways to do this – squatting and sitting. With the formal, the knees are 45 degrees to the legs and above the hips. Pooping in a squat position helps reduce strain.
Yes. While you cannot always tell if the bowel movement will be a noisy noise. Controlling the speed helps you manage the situation and go about your business discreetly.
Regardless of when you decide to stand up and head to the bathroom, don’t create a scene. It’s best to act as though you are going to the bathroom to clean up or even pee. However, it’s important to leave when everyone is busy with work and paying the slightest attention to anyone else.
Conclusions
Pooping loudly can be awkward at the office. We’ve shared some tips on how to poop quietly at work. The key takeaways are: leave when no one is likely paying attention and control the speed of your bowel movement. Additionally, always pick the stall furthest away from others to keep your business away from them.
Nonetheless, everyone poops, and it’s no big deal if one of your co-workers hears some awkward noises. Go with your head high, and if necessary, crack a joke about it.
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